Kink Meme, Day 27

You know, I think I'm beginning to use this Kink Meme as a crutch. No need to think of a pithy post title: it's written in the meme!...Oh no! What will happen when the meme is over and I have think up blog post ideas for myself? Badness, surely!
Can you tell I'm feeling somewhat Snarly? Sarcastic? Snippy? Even a tad bit bitchy?

"Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?"

They don't. The end!
Can't really leave it at that, can I?
I guess my writing, even though it's erotica and BDSM and kinky writing, could also be considered a non-kinky activity. The actual writing part, I mean. Sometimes I'll think up a scene, but I need to figure out the logistics of arms and legs and limbs, and then I'll ask Husband to help me out. Act it out, if you will. So in that way, I guess my major non-kink activity does find its way into the bedroom. But then, my kinks find their way into my writing, so it works both ways.

I knit, so you'd think I'd be better with rope and shibari, but I'm not. I guess I could knit Husband to the bed, but that would be ridiculous. Can you imagine? "Just wait...I've got three more stitches...don't move...."

Okay, this post has run its course. I leave with more Swedish Chef: Miss Piggy looking for her Foo Foo.

Kink Meme Day 26

"What's your opinion on online BDSM play?'

It's completely voluntary and self-discretionary, so what's not to like? How anonymous you are is up to you. What you reveal about your kinks and yourself is up to you. Which people you befriend is up to you. Generally, everything is up to you. You just always have to keep in mind that once you put something out there about yourself, it's out there forever, so you have to be careful.

If by BDSM play you mean, like, acting out a virtual scene or something, then I don't really get that. But I never really "got" phone sex, either, and clearly there are LOTS of people who enjoy that. I think phone sex sounds ridiculous.

Picking Words

The stories for the next collection, Masters of the Hotel Bentmoore, are plodding along. Two are completely done; one is half done. With the last one, I'm still going back and forth which direction I want it to go. I'm letting it stew in my head for a while; the thick will eventually separate from the thin and I'll be able to separate the two and figure out which one I want to use and which one to put back in the freezer for later. (If you've ever made soup, you know what I'm talking about.)

I am always thinking about the stories. When I'm walking the dog, washing the dishes, cleaning the floors, dusting the shelves, I'm thinking about them. I'm thinking about the scenes, and how best to describe what I'm trying to convey; what to describe in detail, and what to leave up to the imagination of the reader.

There are so many words with slight differentiations to describe things. If I want to describe a sub's negative reaction to a direct order, I may write that she's being defiant. But I may also use the word insolent, impertinent, cheeky, brazen, or disdainful; and all those words are, to me, just a touch different from one another. Which word I pick will depend on the character and the situation.

If a sub is struggling, she may writhe. But she also may wiggle, or wriggle, or squirm, or tremble, or joggle.  Her muscles may squeeze, but they may also clamp, or constrict, or clench, or spasm, or press, or simply hold.

Sleek is not the same as willowy, and certainly not the same as lithe, but any of those words may describe her graceful lines. She may be softly rounded, or have a narrow torso with low, compact hips. She may have a thin, reedy chest but high-set, plump breasts. She may be prim and poised, but also sculpted and smooth, satiny to the touch.

She may be any of those things, but I don't always want to tell the readers in so many words. Sometimes, I want the readers to have the freedom to picture the character on their own. Let them decide the hue of a fat nipple and the exact dusky pinkness of folds. It's often more satisfying that way.

New series: Playboy Ads

     Years and years ago, back when I was a newlywed with no household luxuries (like furniture) and very little money, I would spend all my weekends scrounging around yard sales, looking for stuff I could buy cheap and use in my own house. Like chairs. Chairs were quite a luxury back then.
     One day, I came across a collection of Playboys someone was selling out of a huge bin. They were selling them individually for, like, a buck each. I asked how much the whole bin of Playboys would cost. They let me take the entire collection for ten bucks. I carried that thing home like I had struck gold, and Husband's reaction to my smart purchase choice told me he agreed wholeheartedly. Apparently, he was under the impression not many wives will buy a collection of Playboys for their husbands? I have no idea why not. They're just magazines.
     We've kept the collection safe all these years, and now, looking back at them, it's not the pictures I'm drawn to, or the articles. It's the ads.
     Some of these ads are just the funniest things to look at now. You can't help but laugh. But why should I keep these treasures to myself, I thought? I should share them with my readers! So I'm going to start a new series, the Playboy ad series, and keep it going once a week until I get sick of it or Playboy sends me a threatening letter. Which I don't see how they can do, since these are ads, for christ's sakes.

The first collection of ads comes from January 1987, the Holiday Anniversary Issue.

There are pictures of many women they photographed over the years, including Marilyn Monroe. There's also an interview with this guy:

Which should tell you where technology was back then.
One of the first ads is for a television.

It's got on-screen graphics! And captioning! And 400 lines of resolution! And wireless remote control!
There are more television ads in here, of course.

It's got a double-sided lenticular screen. I have no idea what the hell that means. Did anyone back then? It also has corner to corner focus. Yay! Because corner to corner blurriness is bad!
There are quite a lot of ads for "laser disc" players and VCRs, too. Because no home entertainment system is complete without those. Very 1987 true.

I remember when Poltergeist 2 came out. It was considered one of the scariest movies evah.
This Panasonic VCR can do something scary, too: it can turn your TV into a stereo TV! OHMYGOD! How does it do that?
Freaky!

What say you, Genesis? You like your TV being messed with like that? Oh, I see, you're too busy recording "Invisible Touch" to answer me right now. Okay, get back to me in a few years, when no one knows that song anymore.

 

Okay, was this when Return of the Jedi came out? Cause I have no other explanation for this ad.
It's obviously state of the art, what with it's 16 AM/FM station random access presets! I don't know if this is what I would call the "beginning of an audio and video empire" though. A remote that works from "across the room" is not what I would call far, far away. But hey, it's got a cassette deck! And a turntable! So shut up!

Some of the ads, I wish were still good today. Take this one, for watches.

These are less than $600 each. For gold. At least, I'm assuming it's gold. "Gold Metal" is gold, right? Unless it's like 3 Karat gold? Even so, it would still be more than $600 bucks today.

This end this week's Playboy Ads post. Next week, new month, same ridiculousness!

Kink Meme Day 25

"How open are you about your kinks?"

Not at all. I have two worlds, the world where my identity is that of parent/community member/"normal" wife/volunteer/hobby-writer/worker, and the world where I am known as sub/SAM wife/kinky woman/writer of erotica specifically. The worlds do not, and cannot, collide.

In my everyday life I am actually thought of as a naive woman. People assume I know nothing about kinks, or anything beyond what you'd see on Leave it to Beaver. They think I'm really like a 1950's wife, ignorant and innocent. If they only knew.

But they never will.

Kink Meme Day 24

Kink Meme still going! Day 24! I don't know about you, but I had shit no idea there could be so many questions about kinks! Counting down to the end here!

"What qualities do you look for in a partner?"

I'm not looking for a partner. I have a partner. A life partner. :)

Husband is task-oriented (meaning: not so good at multi-tasking), meticulous (about everything but the housework), thorough, clever, smart, very funny (that man makes me laugh until I'm crying quite often), very ethical, and just very, very sensible. Common sense is not as common as you would think, and I met a man who has enough for both of us.

He likes to get things his way, but often enough, his way is allowing me my way. He supports me, understands me, listens to me, and pulls me into line when I need him to. He loves me in every way I want and need to be loved. He shows me his love with every kiss on the cheek and every spank on the ass.

He's my Husband, and he's my Dom, and I can't imagine anyone else filling the role the way he does.

Kink Meme, Day 23

"Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?"

If by "changed" you mean "evolved," I guess so. But it would be hard for me to say my interests and perspectives have changed because, and only because, my interest in kink, which is what the question implies. I think I'm constantly evolving my opinions and judgements because that's what people naturally do. If you're asking me if I've gone through a drastic, lifestyle-changing transformation since discovering and accepting my kinks, the answer is no.

I'm always fascinated by other people's lifestyle changes, though. There's a website up, Portraits of Kink, that has a collection of people's stories, and some of them are incredible. You should go check it out.

:(

Husband is away on business. I'm unravelling. I'm shooting off my mouth to everyone in listening distance, sending nasty and passive/aggressive messages to people I don't even fucking know, making hasty and stupid decisions, and basically being the smart-assed masochist I am naturally, without anyone here to stop me.

I'm miserable. I'd rather get fifty swats with the silver-tipped belt, on each ass cheek, than go through this.

So no Kink Meme today, no serious post. Just a funny video of the Swedish Chef from the muppets. Cause as an anal slut I can tell you that sometimes, when you're about to take it up the ass, you feel like this turkey: get a little smooch, and then it's on with the skewering!

Kink Meme Day 22

"What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?"

I don't think what's important for a BDSM relationship to stay healthy is all that different from what a so-called "vanilla" relationship needs to stay healthy. You need trust, and understanding, and constant open communication. You need to feel like you have a partner who understands you, and even if s/he doesn't always understand you, s/he will respect you enough to accept what you're trying to convey. The only thing different in a BDSM relationship is that  the needs of the individuals are probably very different from what you would find within a "vanilla" relationship.

On the other hand...how the hell would I know what goes on in a vanilla relationship? I mean, what really goes on behind the scenes? Sometimes I hear things on TV or on the radio, things that I suppose other people take as face-value truth, and I think to myself, what the hell?

Like, last week I was listening to the radio and the hosts of the show were asking listeners to call in and answer a question: if it meant you would lose 30 pounds and keep it off for the rest of your life, would you agree to have sex with your partner everyday for the rest of your life?

All I could think to myself was, why wouldn't I agree to have sex with Husband everyday for the rest of my life? Why would I have to be bribed? Why is this such a big deal?
Which brought up a whole laundry list of other questions: do "vanilla" people not have sex that often? Is it a chore? Do they refuse their spouse/significant other? Do they use sex as a weapon in the relationship? Do they expect some kind of favors for sex? What the hell??

So you see, I can't really assume much about "vanilla" relationships, because I just don't know. But then again, who can really know what goes on behind closed doors of any relationship? Some BDSM relationships are a complete mystery to me, too.

Submission in Judaism

Like most people, I read a lot of different kinds of blogs that focus on varying themes. I read blogs about kink, BDSM, American culture, politics, Doctor Who...and I read blogs from Jewish bloggers, that focus on Jewish themes. Because, you guessed it, I'm Jewish.

A blog I read on occasion, A Mother in Israel, put up a post a couple days ago titled Does Judaism Require Submission within Marriage? Go check it out and read it yourself if you want. And then read the comments. And then puke a little in your mouth.

Of course, there was no way I was going to comment on her blog how mad the whole question of the post made me, how misogynistic and neanderthal some of the comments were. That is her blog, her safe space, where she can write whatever she wants. I would never intentionally try to hijack someone else's blog to start an argument. So I'm going to write some stuff here, on my blog, where I have every right to state my opinion.

I'm not even going to go into my views about my religion, how I do think it's absolutely anti-woman and sexist. That's a topic for another post. Maybe someday I'll write it.

But I want to say, today, in response to A Mother in Israel's post, is this: it is a PRIVILEGE of a man to have a woman who submits to him, NOT A RIGHT. NO religion has the power to tell a woman she is required, BY THE WORD OF GOD, to submit to her husband. I don't care how you twist around the idea of submission, try to whitewash it or glorify it or wrap it up in bows and ribbons and make it all nice and pretty, submission is about CONTROL. In this case, a husband having control over his wife.

So here's where I stand: A MAN WHO THINKS HE HAS THE RIGHT TO CONTROL HIS WIFE BECAUSE GOD SAID SO IS A SEXIST, SICK PIG. NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER, EVER FEEL OBLIGATED TO SUBMIT IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD WIFE.

Obviously, it might seem strange for me of all people to be "yelling" this out, at least on the surface. I submit to my husband, probably more than even most of those commentators. My hsuband and I have a total power exchange. But: it's because it's what I want, not because it's what's expected of me, and certainly not because I'm afraid of being a "bad woman" if I don't submit. MY SUBMISSION IS MY CHOICE, not something imposed upon me.

There. I feel better now.