Thursday, August 2, 2012

Personal Shopper

Me: Shit, I forgot to go to the supermarket.
Husband: Make me a list and I'll go.
Me: No, it's okay. I need to get stuff you won't want to get.
Husband: Oh? Like what?
Me: Like tampons. You won't want to pick up tampons.
Husband: I don't mind.
Me: Oh, really? You used to mind.
Husband: Yeah, but then I figured, it's not like anyone's going to think I'm buying them for me. I mean, the worst they can think is that I'm buying them for someone I'm going to fuck.
Me: Why would they think it's for someone you're going to fuck?
Husband: Well I'm damn well not going to buy tampons for a woman who's not going to fuck me.
Me: I see...okay, what about a bra and panties? Would you be willing to buy me a bra and panties?
Husband: Absolutely. I'd walk into a Victoria's Secret, and make it very clear I'm buying that stuff for my wife, who is going to fuck me. But I wouldn't call it underwear. I'd call it lingerie, cause that sounds sexier.
Me: what wouldn't you be willing to buy me?
Husband: A dildo.
Me: A dildo?
Husband: Yeah. That's something you just have pick out and buy for yourself.

And this, dear readers, is how I end up buying all my own dildos and vibrators. Which is not a bad thing; it means everything we own, I like. :)


  1. Both you and your husband are hilarious :)

  2. I think this is wonderful. I'm cracking up laughing at the table while my daughter tries to see what is so funny.

  3. This makes sense to me, though. You want to buy something you'll enjoy, and how are we simple men to know what will feel good? We're only tube-shaped, after all! :-)

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP