Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year, New Post, Same Old Rambling

So. Happy New Year.

Are we all sober now?

Truthfully, I don't see January 1st as anything other than an excuse to party. Nobody really believes in this whole "flip the calendar and start a brand new life" hullabaloo. You've still got weeks left of winter to look forward to, no more holidays, and let's face it, you're still the same you, only tired and dazed from all the holiday craze (and also possibly a few pounds heavier, only adding to your "resolutions" conundrum). January 1st has got to be the biggest buzzkill of the year. You wake up, and you realize--
nothing has fucking changed.

So maybe that's not exactly true around these parts. Husband is starting a new job. I'm starting work on a new book. I'm also dipping more into Facebook
(if you want to friend me there, be my guest, I'm turning away no one)
and looking into taking control over my blog content.
I'm enjoying my kids over the vacation, and attending munches I don't normally get a chance to go to. It's nice.

Speaking of...
I went to a munch last night which was quite different from any munch or event I've heretofore been to: there was a huge number of younger people. By "younger," I mean people in their young twenties, mid-twenties tops; what those in the scene call TNG.
They were a nice crowd; polite, welcoming, forthcoming. It wasn't so much that they were cliquish, as that they knew they had more in common with each other than with us, the older ones. They had all the attraction and strength of youth, and years of possibilities ahead of them, unencumbered by the baggage of time.

In many ways, I envied them. Not so much their youth, although that was part of it. I envied them because they had a community to join, a network of people willing to welcome them with open arms, and methods to tap into knowledge so secretive and clandestine before.
They will never know what it was like before the internet, when information was shared in person, face to face, in dark corners and in hushed tones. They will never know what it's like to be afraid of kink, to feel isolated and alone for liking what you like and being who you are. They are entering a world where this space for them had already been established: buttressed, illuminated, and adorned with welcome signs. They make themselves at home in a small corner of The Scene world, and claim it as their own, but they will never know what it was like for those first pioneers, who faced cultural backlash and ostracism (and many times worse) to pave the way.
I envy them because they do not have to be afraid to admit who and what they are. They are free to label themselves, without judgement or slight. They are confident in their wants, needs, and ideals. Their kink does not empower them, but their knowledge does; knowledge they can ingrain by learning from our mistakes.

Of course, in the end, it will be the mistakes they make themselves which will teach them the most, and have the largest impact on their future decisions. But their potential shines bright, and in my opinion, uplifts us all.

Well this post turned preachy. I didn't mean it to. Next post will be something funnier, I promise.


  1. I sometimes wonder what it was like before the internet. Would we even be here exploring this dynamic if we hadn't been tipped off to it in some way? Who knows?

  2. It wasn't that long ago that you had to walk into the bookstore/library in person and secretly hope no one was paying attention to the items in your hand. Also, driving way out to a shady adult store to find things to explore, none of which made you feel normal or good about yourself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting yourselves out there. It makes a huge difference for so many!

    1. God I remember those days.
      You shouldn't thank me; I've haven't been "in the scene" for that long at all. I was just lucky enough to have a D/s relationship before I knew there was a label for it.

  3. This is a great post, and not too "preachy" at all, in my opinion! It is true how hard it was in the earlier days...not that it's a whole lot easier now. Now, we just have the benefits of easier access to information and more "kinksters" being out and proud and welcoming. I have to say that I am pretty grateful, myself, for that, because I have come to this a little later in life, myself...compared to some. If it was still in dark corners and hushed conversations, as you mentioned, I may never have screwed up the courage to find what I was really looking for in life.

    Thanks for this post. It's a great reminder to all of us of all the struggles that other people had to overcome so that we wouldn't have to.

    1. "Thanks for this post. It's a great reminder to all of us of all the struggles that other people had to overcome so that we wouldn't have to."
      Yeah, great post. I'm young and pretty new to this and I hadn't considered that any of the people I've met might have had to fight or struggle to get where they are today. So far entering the community has been nothing but joy for me and it hadn't occurred to me that I have a great deal of people to thank for this.