Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Doms: They're Harsh When They Need To Be

Last night, Husband made a "Scheduled Appointment" to talk to me. A "Scheduled Appointment" means the kids are not allowed to interrupt, and I am not to be in Mommy Mode, I am to be in Wife Mode. While he often stops to talk to me at other times, a Scheduled Appointment means it is serious, and I should be ready.
He spent the entire time talking to me, without letting me respond in turn. He laid down the law on a few things. He let me know about a few changes that would have to be made, ones he knew I would not like. He ended his little monologue with "Are we clear?" And when I said yes, he said "Fine then; we're done." And that was that.
I left the room. I took a few minutes to go over the "conversation" in my head, to really think about what he had just said, and decided that no, I wasn't okay with all of this. So I went back to the bedroom where he still sat in the rocking chair, looking at his email, and told him so.
"What exactly is bothering you?" He asked.
I went over my concerns. He calmly answered them all, clarifying where he had been ambiguous, and correcting the things I had gotten wrong in my head.
I lay back on the bed, quiet.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked me.
I said honestly, because honesty is required between us: "I'm trying to decide if you're trying to be an asshole."
At this, he smiled. "I'm always trying to be an asshole to you," he said, and went back to reading his email.
"Thanks a lot," I grumbled.
"You're welcome," he replied.
Husband can be an asshole, but he is my asshole, and as weird and as wrong as that sounds, it is true. Sometimes he has to make decisions he knows I will not like, but he does it for the sake of the family. And sometimes he knows, in order for me to get how serious he is about his decisions, he has to sound like an asshole.
He does not do it to be mean. He does it because that is his job, and he takes his job seriously.
And I love him all the more for it.

1 comment:

  1. I needed to hear this right now. Thank you.