Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Cures Acne, Headaches, Bad Back, Shortness of Breath, Hair Loss, PMS, and Dry Skin, Too

I was complaining to Husband yesterday about my acne.
(Yes, I am 39 years old, and I still suffer from acne; it is a bane. I have tried different techniques to make it go away, but nothing works for very long. One of the many things about my body I hate. sigh)
Husband doesn't really understand how much the pimples bother me…but then, he has no problem offering me solutions to deal with it.

Husband: I know one way to get rid of your pimples.
Me: You do? How?
Husband: Spankings. Spankings get rid of pimples.
Me: They do not.
Husband: They do. If your skin is breaking out, it means you need a spanking.
Me: I do not, now stop it.
Husband: You know what else cures pimples? Come.
Me: If I come more, my pimples will go away?
Husband: No, I have to come—on your face. Come is very good for your skin.
Me: Oh, really….
Husband: Yes! It's got protein and antioxidants and other shit that's very good for your skin. You can rub it in. (He starts to rub my cheeks with his fingers)
Me: You know what I think? (I smack his hands away) I think you constantly touching my face is giving me pimples. I think you need to stop doing that.
Husband: No.
Me: I also think it's possible not getting spanked will cure my acne, and I think we should test my theory.
Husband: No. Also, come really is good for your skin, you know. It's been scientifically proven.
Me: Oh, really? Show me a source.
Husband: I will…after I spank you and come on your face.

Turns out? Semen really might be good for your skin.
The spanking theory still needs more research, though.

4 comments:

  1. In Nip/Tuck, they put come in their skin cream and everyone was raving about it. . .

    I also take every chance I can to rub it all over my breasts/chest (where I suffer from acne too).

    Target has a grapefruit salicylic acid body wash that I use regularly and it keeps the breakouts at bay. I too struggled with body acne most of my life, but as long as I use that body wash, it's all good. If I stop, they come right back. (Neutrogena also has it, but I always go for store brands when I can) I also use their salicylic acid anti-blemish moisturizer on my face and ass.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I will try that Target product out!

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  2. I have my son (who suffers from acne, he's a lot less Asian then I am) washing with baking soda. It's a slight exfoliate and restores your body to a normal Ph. It helps him.

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