If you're about to do something you know would shame you if it ever got out? DON'T FUCKING DO IT.
If you're about to say something you know would make you look like a piece of turd if people knew? DON'T FUCKING SAY IT.
It's that simple, people. Don't do stuff you know makes you look like shit. Don't say stuff you know makes you sound like shit.
Don't think the stuff you do and say is going to be swept under a rock, hidden away forever more. Because you don't know when the truth is going to come out—
But if it does, you will have no one to blame other than yourself for looking like an asshole.
Not the person who called you out on your bad behavior. Not the people who turn away in disgust.
None of us are perfect. All of us say and do things we end up regretting, sometimes badly. When that happens, all we can do is apologize, try to make amends, and move on.
What we shouldn't do is attack the people who are pointing out to us our bad behavior. If you know you've fucked up, if you know you've behaved badly? OWN IT.
Owning does not mean deflecting, or rationalizing, or victim-blaming, or gaslighting. OWNING means being able to admit, "I fucked up, I should not have done that, that was a mistake on my part, I am sorry."