Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Why You Shouldn't Call Me

You may end up calling me on a day when Husband is working from home.
He may enter the bedroom as the two of us are talking.
He may then go into the bathroom to pee, leaving the bathroom door OPEN.
I may then start yelling at him for leaving the door open.
You may hear him snap at me for yelling at him.
I may call him a few choice words for being a disgusting pig and barbarian as he starts to walk out of the bedroom.
He may then close the bedroom door...and lock it.
He may then grab the belt from the closet.
You may have to listen to me quickly and profusely apologizing as I try to squirm away.
You may also have to listen to me howling as he starts slapping me with the belt.
You may then hear me call him an ASSHOLE as he starts to walk away.
He may then start slapping me with the belt all over again.
You'll have to listen to me wailing more.
You may then have to give me a few moments to recover before we go on with our conversation.
You might also need a few minutes to recover from your laughter.
And that is why you should never call me.


  1. I was so going to make a similar comment to ancilla's. Hahahah. Great post.