Monday, November 2, 2015

You Need a Utility Belt

Being a Master/Dom/Toppy type does not mean every scene you do has to be full of SERIOUS TERROR and ALTERED STATE. Sometimes it's just about being fun and silly. Case in point, my time last night:
Him: (whispering gruffly in my ear behind me) Take off your shirt.
Me: (giggling) You sound funny.
Him: I do?
Me: Yes, you sound like Batman.
Him: (Back to gruff voice) That's because I am Batman. Now take off your shirt.
Me: You're silly.
Him: I'm silly, and I'm Batman. Now take off your pants.
Me: I can't have sex with Batman. This is crazy!
Him: You can have sex with Batman if Batman says so. Hold your legs open. Wait for me—don't move! I'm going to get some toys.
Me: Toys?
Him: Batman has aaaalll the toys. Don't move.
(Comes back a few minutes later while I'm stuck with my legs open, laughing on the bed)
Him: Toys.
Me: If you're going to use that thing on me, you'd better use lube.
Him: It's Batlube. And I'll use it if you're good.
Me: This is nuts!
Him: I'm Batman. Spread your ass—ah, good.
Me: It hurts!
Him: Too bad. I'm Batman.
Me: (laughing so hard I can barely speak) I can't relax when I'm laughing this hard!
Him: Not my problem. Batman is working now.
Me: Ow ow ow! What the hell are you doing?
Him: Well I'm not getting lost in a mall. Ray-chel!
Me: Wait, didn't Rachel die at the end of that movie?
Him: You won't die. I promise, and I'm Batman.
Me: You're crazy!
Him: I know, and you love it.