Friday, May 18, 2012


I'm going to assume most of my readers watch BDSM/kink videos. A lot of people I know prefer the videos on Fetlife, because even though they're often of lower quality, at least the scene and the people in them are real. They're not a bunch of paid actors being told what to do and how to look. The responses and reactions are genuine.

Of course, there is some acting going on. The people know they are being filmed. They want to look as good as possible. A lot of the time, this means they want to look as close to those other "professional" videos as possible, the paid-for stuff. And in those videos, nobody laughs.

No, in those videos, everyone is locked into a role. The bottoms are scared but stoic, seraphic and sensual creatures who look at the camera with eyes full of wanton appeal. The tops are strong, domineering types, who do a lot of frowning and ordering the bottoms about.
Nobody looks like they're actually having fun. They're all fulfilling a need, giving into a craving.
And nobody laughs.

When Husband and I are fooling around, getting our kink on, we are always laughing. It doesn't matter if he's got me bent over the bed, or contorted me into some strange position, or locked me into cuffs and bars. It doesn't matter what he's doing to me, or making me do. Our times are always filled with laughter, because we are having fun and enjoying ourselves.

Sometimes it's an anxiety-induced laughter. When I get nervous, I laugh. I can't help it. If Husband is about to discipline me, I know it's going to hurt, and nine times out of ten, I know I deserve it. But I fear it just the same, and try to assuage my fear with laughter.
Sometimes, Husband will say or do something funny during a critical moment, and I'll just crack up laughing. It doesn't "ruin" the scene, or disrupt it. In fact, it makes it more intimate somehow. The laughter draws us further into the scene, and into each other.
Sometimes, if I feel like I've gotten the upper hand, I'll let out a short laugh of triumph. Let's not forget, this is a power exchange, and sometimes Husband has to work to maintain his power. If I feel like I've managed to wrest it away from him, even a little, then hell yes, I'm going to enjoy that moment for as long as I can, and my enjoyment often comes through with laughter.
Sometimes I laugh because it just feels good. I'm where I want to be, doing what I want to do. I'm happy, I'm boisterous: I laugh.

Laughter releases tension. It lets the other person know, on some level deep down, you are okay. It means you're having fun, enjoying your time together, giving and taking pleasure. It means, no matter what is going on in the scene, you are happy to be there and be a part of it.

I don't know why so many people think laughter is inappropriate for kink videos. It makes just as much sense as all those moans and cries. When I hear a sub laugh, I know her (or his) reactions, and pleasure, are real. That doesn't detract from the scene I'm watching; it makes it all the more genuine.

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