Monday, January 26, 2015

Meme Monday: What's your hardest boundary?

One word: NEEDLES.
Needles give me the heebie-jeebies. Just thinking about them gives me goosebumps. Just writing out the word makes me jumpy. (Notice how the picture doesn't even have a needle in it? Cause you will not find a picture of a needle on my blog. Oh Jesus I said it again.)
I'm going to combine this post with the next question in the meme, so I only have to face this topic ONCE, and then we can put it to rest, hallelujah, amen, the end:

When did you realize this is your hardest boundary? And how?
I have always suffered from a needle phobia, for as long as I can remember. This may or may not be the result of a car accident when I was a toddler; I was hit by a drunk driver, and suffered for months afterwards, in and out of the hospital. I have scars from it, and to this day, have issues with my hip.
I think my phobia got worse went I spent two years abroad, in a place where sympathy for something like phobias was nonexistent, and I was forced to go through some medical procedures with zero support and downright sadistic medical personnel.
And in the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I'm going to say about that."

But I will say a couple things about boundaries (and triggers) in general:
A personal boundary, or in my case, a trigger, is something the individual must deal with—meaning, while I appreciate a minimal level of understanding and sympathy, I do not, and should not, expect everyone else around me to change their behavior just to work around my trigger.
I go to parties where there is needle play going on all the time; when I get uncomfortable, I walk away. I do not expect others to stop doing what they love, just to appease me.
This is my boundary, my issue, no one else's.

At the same time, I do expect a minimal level of courtesy. Once people know of my needle phobia, I expect them to give me the option of walking away quietly, and not giving me a hard time about it. I expect people to refrain from mocking me. Ridiculing me for having this phobia is not fact, I would call that another personal boundary.

I do have people in my life who love me and want me to get over this phobia, because eventually, as I get older, there is a real possibility this phobia may risk my health. But I am scared to deal with it.

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