Wednesday, January 14, 2015

"What's Your Biggest Kink?"

My biggest kink would have to be take-down play, otherwise known as rape-fantasy play, otherwise known as primal sex.

I love it when my partner has to come after me and pin me down. I get drunk on the thrill of the chase. I identify as prey; I expect my partner to have a beast inside him, one willing to do almost whatever it takes to hunt me down. I want him to need to devour me. I want to know that among this large field of possible game, he chose me as his target, because I am worthy of the chase. He is willing to settle for nothing less.

I want to know he gets just as much thrill from the chase as I do. I want him to strike terror in my heart, because in this game, without fear, there is no victory. I want him to know I will fight him every step of the way, and he will welcome my puny attempts to thwart him.
I want him to savor his victory over me, because it will not come easily.

This kind of play is what some consider "edge play." There is a lot of "consensual non-consent" going on. My play partners, those who engage in this sort of play with me, have to know a lot more about me than just my safewords. They have to be able to read my body language, my cues, what I'm thinking behind my eyes even if I don't say the words out loud.
They have to know at least a little of what I'm thinking, because they will need that knowledge to outwit me.

Not everyone wants to play like this; more importantly, not everyone can. There's a heady dose of trust involved, along with the need for full understanding of what the fuck you're doing, way before you even start. Connection, communication, discussion, negotiation—all of it's necessary before your first scene begins. This is fantasy play, not actual assault, but things can go real wrong real quick in a heartbeat if you misread your partner.

But the pleasure I get from these, it's a rush.
I have a fantasy of being released into a large field, being given a ten second head start, and then hunted down, chased, captured like a wild animal. It would be like that book, "The Most Dangerous Game," only instead of being killed, I'd be stripped down, tied up like a stray heifer, and beaten for my defiance.

Now I'm all aroused.

1 comment: