Monday, February 9, 2015

Kink Meme Monday: "Do you have any kinky nicknames?"

If you mean dirty, naughty little monickers like "whore" or "cumslut," then no.

If you mean sweet little nicknames like "sweetie" or "sugar pie," then yes, yes I do...but those are private.

Then there's the third category: words Husband uses to remind me of my place in his home, in his life. They aren't really pronouns, though; they have more of a possessive adjectives-type feel. They are words like Lady, Wife, and Owned. 

If I'm behaving childishly—especially if we're out in public, especially if he's already given me a warning to stop—he'll call me Lady. He'll use it in a way like "Stop making faces, Lady" or "We will talk about this later, Lady." It's his way of letting me know he doesn't think I'm behaving the way a proper woman should.

Wife is used in a somewhat similar fashion, but it's reserved for times when I haven't shown pride in the title. As his Wife, I have certain duties and responsibilities, and when I fail in my obligations, and he grows disappointed, he will quickly let me know.
I'll give you an example: when Husband calls me from another part of the house, I'm expected to come running, or have a damn good reason not to. Yesterday, he called me from downstairs, and I didn't come right away—I wanted to finish up an email I was writing.
Three seconds later I heard, "I SAID COME HERE, WIFE."
I ran.
He always seems to know when I'm legitimately delayed, and when I'm just dawdling. I don't know how he knows, but he knows.

Owned is reserved for the bedroom and secret moments when the kids aren't around. When he's planning something he knows I won't like—like a harrowing scene, or a practice session with a diabolical toy—he takes great pleasure in reminding me that I have no choice in the matter, that I am his property, bought and sold, and he gets to do whatever he wants to me.
(And yes, part of that is the fact that I have given him the right to do whatever he wants to me, because we have a Complete Power Exchange, Consensual-Non-Consent relationship. But he still loves to remind me how he bought me when he married me.)

There are variations on these words, but they all have basically the same meaning, and the same purpose: to remind me of our particular dynamics. It's a mini "reinforcement of the power exchange relationship," as my friend likes to say.
But notice, they are kinky nicknames in the D/s sense, not in the S/m sense. They are used to reinforce my submission in the relationship, not humiliate or titillate me.
He doesn't call me his "whore" or "cumslut" or anything like that because he knows how much I wouldn't like that. It wouldn't just do me hurt, it would do me harm, and there's a difference between the two.

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