The Generality of "Bondage"

For those who don't know (yeah it seems ridiculous to me too that someone might still not know this, but still) the B in "BDSM" stands for "Bondage." The dictionary defines bondage thusly: "The state of being bound or subjected to some external power or control."

Here's the thing: that word, and definition, is about as broad as defining "food" as "something you eat."

There are SO MANY different kinds of bondage you can use during sex--and I'm just talking about the physical kind, the type that needs tools and setup. I'm not even getting into the mental and emotional bondage a person can impose to get their  partner to do as she (or he) is told. No, I'm talking rope, cuffs, cages....some kind of bondage is usually the first thing on the checklist in any BDSM scene, because it brings home what is really going on in the situation, by using a person's body as a prop...or maybe I should say, as an introduction. If a BDSM scene can tell a story, bondage is the prologue, and it tells the story through the body.

Take wrists, for example. Wrists are an obvious first choice for restraints: bind the wrists, and you've effectively limited a person's ability to defend themselves with their hands. The insides of the wrists are very sensitive, and respond immediately to stimuli. But it's the psychological affect that makes wrist binding so fundamental in any BDSM scene: it quickly clarifies exactly how little choice (and power) the sub has. Just going through the motions of binding the wrists will usually send strong feelings of alarm and excitement straight to the sub's brain, resulting in a surge in chemicals: adrenaline, endorphins...usually a combination of both.

But HOW you apply the bondage is also very important, and can be a very intricate process.

Take rope. Rope is a very popular way to bind someone; there's a reason Shibari exists, after all. But there are also so many different kinds of rope: there's nylon, there's hemp, there's cotton, there's mooring...there's strand rope, plaid rope, braided rope...and they will all feel different against the skin.

Or you can try leather. Leather straps, leather cuffs, leather with buckles, leather with velcro, leather with zippers, leather you pull on, leather you tie on...it's really boundless.

Metal. Metal covers a lot of ground. You want to try chain? Okay. Thick or thin? Long or short? Eyebolts or hooks? D-Rings, buckles, or both? Or how about cuffs? Safety release--yes or no? What about wire? Mesh? What about maybe even a cage? How big? One that fits under the bed, or one that takes up a tiny corner of a room?

Sometimes, the choice of bondage technique is much more important, and takes a lot more thought, than deciding to try BDSM in the first place.