Saturday, May 7, 2011

Kink Meme, Day 13

"Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you're drawn to?"

I got a good laugh out of this question, because at first I misunderstood it. I thought, 'they're asking me why I'm drawn to kink? Who doesn't get a kick out of kink? Honestly, people have differing senses of propriety and levels of what they can handle, but everyone is drawn to some level of kink, no?'

But then I realized the question was really asking me, what is the appeal to what I am drawn to. And as I've stated before, I'm drawn to strong D/S relationships, women being 'put in their place' with the proper punishments. I'm into having fun and trying new things, provided that the power exchange is still obvious.

So then I started thinking about what I'm NOT into, what my 'hard lines' in kink-play are: needle play, bio-hazard, electricity, etc.
And I realized, I am not into anything that I would perceive as an abuse of the power. Like, for me and Husband, I offer up my control to him, I submit to him and give him my all, but I expect him to treat that offering as a gift, and use the power exchange for the good of us both. If I ever thought he was treating me with destain, or taking advantage of his power to do things he knows would hurt me emotionally and psychologically, I would resent it and quickly resent him.

I'm not talking about physical pain. I can take a lot of pain, and most of the time, I love it. And when I don't, well, it's usually because it's a punishment, and a punishment is supposed to hurt. I enjoy reading about power exchanges, books with BDSM where the D/S comes through clearly. So I guess I'm drawn to men taking control, assuming power.

But anything that crosses the line from use-of-power to abuse-of-power is, in my head, an immediate turn-off.

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