This Conversation Just Happened

Him: The truth now. Did you forget your wallet on purpose, so I'd have to bring it to you?

Me: No! What the hell! I'd never do that! You know I'd never do that.

Him: So you just happened to forget your wallet when you went out to meet friends.

Me: It was an honest mistake. I do it all the time!

Him: (Looking at me in shocked disbelief) What? You drive around without your wallet, all the time?

Me: Uh, well, not all the time, but it happens, sure....

Him: Do you forget your phone, too? What, you just get in the car without your license or your phone? All the time?

Me: No, not all time, I didn't mean all the time, I meant sometimes, on occasion, it happens, but super rarely....

Him: Lady, you better pray those airplane seats are well cushioned, cause your ass is going to be sore tomorrow.

I am leaving for Cleveland tomorrow. I'll be away for two weeks, visiting my parents. Pray for me.