Husband recently told me it's possible, based on some of the things I've said to people (specifically to men), I might (sometimes) be coming across as a tease. I don't mean to engage in that kind of behavior. Frankly, his statement came as a complete surprise. But after giving it some thought, I realized he might just be right, so I thought some clarification would be wise.
If I say I'm happy to see/hear from you? That doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say I think you look hot? That doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say you're nice/charming/funny/witty/any other pleasant thing to be? That doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say I want to meet you? That doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say it would be fun to play with you? It doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say you turn me on? It doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you.
If I say I WISH I COULD FUCK YOU? It means, under other circumstances, I would probably fuck you. Maybe, maybe not. We will never know, because...
I WILL NEVER FUCK YOU. EVER. I AM MONOGOMOUS. THE END.
So I may say things to you that I want you to take as direct fact, or as a compliment, or as something I see no reason for you not to know.
But: I do not mean these things as a come-on. I do not mean to say, "I want to have sex with you." I am not trying to be coy, or elusive, or flirty, or cute.
I mean my words exactly as they come out: You are funny. You are witty. You make me smile. I am happy to be your friend. I am happy you consider me your friend.
There is no ulterior message, I just say what I'm feeling at the time.
Maybe there are people out there who think this makes me a nasty woman; I don't know. I know it makes me happy when I hear (or read) a guy say to me, "I think you're pretty," or "I think you're fun to talk to," or "You make me smile." I don't think in the back of my mind, this man wants to fuck me. Cause in my opinion, that would be ridiculous.
Am I being naive? Should I be more on the lookout for this kind of behavior? Should I change my own?
We love this post. We consider ourselves monogamish though not open, and we certainly don't have sex with just anybody and never separately. That said, we live to flirt. It's a big part of who we are, and we understand that this may confuse people sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWe say don't change your behavior. Be yourself, honor your feelings, and if someone misinterprets a signal it's their mistake. Perhaps if you're aware of the misinterpretation you can correct it, but as you point out, saying things like "I want to fuck you" doesn't necessarily mean that it will ever happen.
Thank you Jack and Jill! Can I just say, I love how you two comment as one? I know you can comment individually, too, it's not like you're joined at the hip--but I love how you also stand united, as one unit.
ReplyDeleteI do correct misinterpretations, but they are coming more frequently now than they used to. :(
Yeah, we try to sit and comment on blogs together as much as possible. It isn't always feasible to do so, of course, and I can admit to being the one who does most of the commenting. But we are definitely united, and we have no secrets. Some have suggested that we get separate blogger accounts, but it kind of seems unnecessary. Just another login and password for us both to remember.
ReplyDelete-Jack
Don't change your behavior - you know what you will and will not do and you are probably pretty great just how you are. IMO.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your comment on a very old post of mine today:
That is so sweet! I will happily purchase your next book coming out - I love your stories!
(I wanted to make sure you saw my reply, so I am double posting it.)
Aw. Kitty, you have made me very happy. :) Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others. Do not change who you are or your approach to things. Somebody who says exactly what is meant, no more or less, is a rare treasure these days. Do continue to be that treasure.
ReplyDeleteStay SINful
Mr. AP
Mr. AP, you made me smile. :)
ReplyDelete