10 Kinky Things to Do With Your Thanksgiving Meal

• Practice your shibari on the turkey.
• Get two turkey basters: one for the turkey, and one for the lady.
• Use the baster to lube up the lady's cunt, if she needs it, or her ass, if that's what she's into. If it's going in her ass, make sure it's extra large.
• Wear your favorite Thanksgiving Day apron around the house, and nothing else. (Ok, oven mitts are allowed.)
• Before you set the table with all your elegant china, have sex on it.
• Get creative with your centerpiece: if possible, use a naked lady, tied to the ceiling, cuffed and blindfolded. Tell your guests they are welcome to touch.
• Before the meal starts, tell everyone you have a tradition of giving 10 spanks to all the guests around the table. However, for every one thing they can think of to be thankful for, you take one spank away. That'll get them to open up.
• If anyone refuses to help clear the dishes, cuff their hands behind their backs, and tell them they have to eat dessert that way.
• For dessert, serve ice cream in chocolate vagina molds. 
• After the meal is over, everyone will be very tired, especially your centerpiece. Get them moving again with a violet wand. A good shock to their bottoms should get them moving again.