Saturday, June 11, 2011

Playboy Ads Weekly Series

This week's Playboy ads brought to you by the fine ladies of September 1989.
This must have been around the time that the last GOOD Indiana Jones movie came out, because there is a whole page ad for this:

There's some bad photoshopping right there, unless his forehead protrudes about a foot beyond the rest of his skull. Hay! Maybe that was the original idea behind Kingdom of the Lost Skull! Okay, I admit, that was lame.

You know, the ad might be silly, but the photo is damn fine. Harrison Ford, pre-Calista Flockhart, was quite a nice specimen. Just look at that man hand!

Okay, moving on.

This ad made me realize how tastes can change so much over time. Back in 1989, men were supposed to have hairless chests. All the guys on Beverly Hills, 90210 had bare chests, remember?

And then this guy came along:

And all of a sudden it was okay to have a hair again. Lots of it. And army tags instead of a wimpy "Franklin Mint American Eagle Medallion." I mean, look at those two pictures again. Which chest would you rather rake your hands over?

We've got our technological signs of the times, of course. Like this ad:
This phone ushered in a "new era" of cordless phones. The antenna is on the inside! How did they do that? Of course, now when I hear "Cobra," what I'm thinking about is temporary health insurance and job loss. My my, how times have changed.
Frankly, I'm not sure this ad was cool even in 1989. It certainly doesn't look like something that belongs in Playboy; it looks like something that would be much more fitting for a teen magazine, circa 1985.
"Yo! So Low"? What does that even mean?
And now, I present to you: the return of June and Steve!
"Okay June, let's just call a truce...
wait, what's that on my ass?
June, NO!!

At least in this ad, they are both looking at the camera, even if they still don't look too happy. But this time, it's not just her knee that looks wedged in his ass, it's her hand, too.

The ad that I wish was still good today:
I think this is so cute. Seriously, you can open bottles while holding onto this little gem. Not that I have so many bottles to open, but still. I've never seen a novelty item like this. Have you?

Next week, new ridiculousness!

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