Sunday, October 16, 2011

Spreading the Words of Others

This week has been very busy in the blogosphere. Lots of issues have been raised, opinions have been shared, and things have been written that frankly, I'm still trying to process it all in my own head.

It started with Remittance Girl writing a post, Baby You're A Star. If you haven't read it, you should go read it now. Basically, it's her thoughts on BDSM and "The Scene" in today's modern world, and how BDSM has found its way mainstream, but not in a good way.

(I left my two cents in the comments section, if you want to see that, too.)

She then put up a post by a guest blogger, I_Sadist, titled Sorry Its Already Been Decided For You. The comments are still going strong on that one; lots of people weighing in (including me). I thought the post very timely after reading The She-donist's post, What's Your Flavor?
It seemed to me that while I_Sadist was lamenting how extreme kink is now being frowned upon in many clubs and dungeons, The She-donist was bemoaning how some kinks/fetishes are now being snubbed at because they are seen as too vanilla, a "gateway fetish."

Big Poppa responded to Remittance Girl and I_Sadist with his own blog post, I Am A Predator. It's a great read, but the end is what's haunting:

"I am going to only warn you once more. I am Kinky, I am Dominant, I do horrible things to tender prey like you. I am a Predator. And I am taking back that word."
(I have one thing to say to Big Poppa's warning: I don't think anyone in their right mind thought for one second he had ever abandoned the title. And if they did, I have a feeling they are very sorry right now.)

So there's been a lot to think about, a lot of great discussion going on...but I'm not going to write my own blog post in response to it. Frankly, I don't feel like I'm in the same league with these people: they've all been in "The Scene" forever, have seen it all and done it all. They've paid their dues and have the right to their own opinions. (Well, you know, they'd have the right to their own opinions anyway but their experiences make their opinions more valid and legit.)

I will say that I found myself nodding at some of it, frowning at other bits, and feeling downright uncomfortable with some of the things I found in the comments sections. But most of all, I found myself feeling very blessed and lucky that I have my Dom, that he is my Husband and we've been together for over fifteen years now, and we're still happy being together. So much of what's written in these blog posts boils down to people trying to find what they're looking for in someone else, someone who they find compatible with their kinky needs. I have what I need, or better stated, who I need, and he's downstairs right now playing with our kids. So like I said, I'm very, very blessed.

Edited to Add: Sir Stompsalot has written his own post, I believe in response to everything else that's been written but I might be wrong. It is a great post, touches on a lot of things I was thinking but couldn't quite articulate, and adds in great ways to the discussion. You should go read it. 

In other news, we went to a Renaissance Fair the other day, and I managed to get a chevron collar and some leather straps with hooks. The collar looks something like this:
It is very pretty and I love it. 
I also scrounged up the courage to try on another corset, and you know what? This experience was very different from the last time. Last time, the dresser was very quick with me, and now I know, tightened up the laces too far too fast. This dresser took her time, communicated with me during the whole process, and kept making sure I was okay. By the time she was done, I looked...good. Better than good. My globular tits were on proud display, and my waist was smaller than I'd seen it in years. She said I'm "easily compressible." She meant it as a compliment, and that's how I took it. 
(My kids like to call it "very smooshy," but that doesn't sound so nice, so I'll take "easily compressible.")

Husband's car is still in the shop, but they've told him it might be done as early as tomorrow. If it's not, I have a feeling that will put him in a very, very bad mood.
I'm already preparing myself for it...and kind of hoping it's not ready in time. 


  1. I only have one correction to your post. I am not now, or have ever been a member of 'the scene'. I've been to some clubs. I've watched some scenes. When I was much younger, I participated in only the very mildest of ways. But I found a huge disconnect between what I was looking for and 'the scene.

    Hugs and thanks for the lovely props.

  2. Thanks for the hugs and the correction, RG. I wish I could write with your eloquence.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.