Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Yeah It's Possible to Do The Whole "Dom" Thing Wrong, And Here's One Way

This is going to be short, quick, and to the point.
If you are a Dom, and you come on to Fetlife to find people who are into the same kinks as you are, or to educate yourself about all the different fetishes out there, or to find the next great party going on in your area...GREAT. Rock on.
If you are a Dom, and you are on Fetlife on a personal journey of self discovery, to see how kink can improve or enhance your life? You have come to a good place. (Not a great place, but a good place. A good place to start, at least.)
If you are a Dom, and you are perusing Fetlife to find submissives who might be a match for you? Have fun. I don't know how good your chances are, but they've got to be better than zero.
But if you list yourself as a Dom, and you are CLEARLY only on Fetlife looking to get laid? I'm sorry, but I don't think you're much of a Dom.
Yeah, I know, there's no such thing as a "real" Dom. People say this because there are a zillion ways to do the whole "Dom" thing right.
But you know what, homage must be paid to the simple truth that there are ways to do the "Dom" thing wrong.
Doms do not say whatever they think a sub wants to hear in their ongoing quest to get sex.
Doms do not neg to try to make a woman feel insecure about herself (and possibly give out the sexy).
Doms do not get pissed off when they get a NO.
Doms do not begin all their conversations with random strangers with sexual overtures.
Doms do not keep coming back to pester and nag at a woman after she's shot down his invitation for sex.
Doms have (gasp!) other interests besides getting laid.
DOMS DO NOT THINK THEY ARE OWED SEX BY EVERY FUCKING SUBMISSIVE ON THE PLANET AS THEIR OWN PERSONAL REWARD FOR JOINING FETLIFE.
You do not get a reward for joining fetlife: not a cookie, not a pair of woman's used underpants (or socks!*), and NO SEX.
So if you've listed yourself as a "Dom," but you're only here looking to get laid, knock it the fuck off. Either change your listing title, or grow the fuck up.
(*STOP ASKING ME FOR MY SOCKS, YOU PERVERTS.)

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